junk

I heard on a podcast, "When you settle for less, you get less than what you settled for."  I am forever tied to someone I met at a dive bar. 

I was so spent from years of taking care of everyone else, and internalizing everyone else's junk, that I came off like a crazy person giving birth alone.

I am sure now that I spent a couple years in a break down, with years of personal loss finally weighing so heavy on me that I drank heavily and acted out.  I just wasn't myself.

Belle is me putting myself back together again, balanced, calm, focused and using alternate coping mechanisms than whatever numbed me dumb before.