Envy

I am a little envious of the young woman who bought the house next door.  She appears roughly the same age I was when I bought my home in 2007.  The major difference is the heavy presence of peer support in her life, versus the absence of peer support in mine.  I didn't have a whole lot of people on board when I decided to sell my duplex in Los Angeles and buy a single family home in Alameda, nearly four hundred miles away.  The concept seemed outrageous, in fact!  Single minority women just didn't do that.  It only got worse when I settled in here.  I live on the "poor" side of the island.  Many blacks on this side just get by on government assistance.  Many blacks I met here assumed I served as a domestic to a family living in this house.  Other minorities assumed I was either a boarder renting a room or a resident living in a program.  When I told the truth, it was always assumed I had done some dishonest deed to get here.  Discouraged, I eventually lost my confidence and my faith.  Someone suggested I lie and tell people I am just a renter, which is not me honoring the life I am creating for myself here.  Thankfully, I am no longer meeting many of the people who challenged my position now that I have a family.  I lost valuable time associating with the wrong peer group.  I wonder what hidden things were happening in the lives of those people who didn't like or trust me enough to let me know I didn't belong here too.