Tuesday, June 26, 2012


Belle and I shared an avocado, a banana and a can of sardines last night.  Thankfully we were in a dry bath tub because Belle was covered in olive oil from head to foot.  I gave her a full baby massage and ran a bath.  Then she fell asleep.

Friday, June 15, 2012

Blame the Cosmos

My drinking increased significantly after I moved up North.  I knew I wouldn't meet any singles at my nearest church.  I only met older, retired people and young families.  I took a risk and started mingling inside the bars (and family restaurants with bar seating) within walking distance of my home.  I felt confident enough to take care of myself in public and around alcohol and men.  As my confidence increased, so did the critical response from some of the men I would meet.  I met the shadow side of myself and others during this process.  Their insecurities became my insecurities, and never vice versa.  I found my faith tested as my beliefs and values were challenged.  I knew I needed something else.  When I started seeing Belle's father, as I have since learned, he felt inspired to rescue me from what he considered were poor choices.  He took misguided measures to save me from myself.  I never said I needed saving.  I needed a growthful experience.  I grew in ways I never would have had I stayed in Los Angeles.  I won't regret anything.  Things went the awry the way they were meant.

Saturday, June 9, 2012


We celebrated Belle's half birthday with an Asian variety sweet potato, oven roasted and pureed with butter and powdered ginger.  I turned out the lights and spoke gratitude and wishes over a single candle stuck in half a slice of red velvet cake.  At six months, Belle showed zero interest in the cake.  I loved every delicious bite.  I also savored the last of a Venus named red wine I'd opened in honor of the Venus transit last Tuesday.  We had a marvelous time.  I am very happy with Belle in my life.  Now let's manifest the rest of the pie.

Monday, June 4, 2012


I am learning how to cook as simply as possible, using just butter or olive oil, in many cases.  Last night I sauteed zucchini in butter, oven roasted a sweet potato and pureed that sweet potato with both Danish Creamery butter and Imperial margarine.  Belle realised whatever I was doing (cooking) pertained to [eating] and threw a fit.  I had to pick her up and let her supervise the frying pan so she would stop crying.  Then she saw the sweet potato and lost it.  I had to feed her tiny bits of it just to calm her down enough to puree it properly.  Belle loved our meal so much that I didn't have time to give her a bib or a spoon.  We happily ate with our hands while standing at the counter.

Sunday, June 3, 2012


Belle weighed in at 10lbs, 11oz and 23.5in on Friday, June first.  I am very pleased.  She nurses on demand and eats two servings of rice or oats day with butter or olive oil and fruit or a vegetable.  Belle may not weigh much for her age, but she is getting there.