Friday, May 25, 2012


I conquered last week's low libido with an unexpected romp with an old flame.  It wasn't the marathon coupling of times past; it was better.  It was better because I am over myself.  The lights were on, my legs were hairy and I didn't care.  I had accepted myself and had presented myself without pretense.  I had an amazing experience with a wonderful person.  I am very pleased.

Thursday, May 17, 2012

Over the hump

Belle weighs 10lbs, 0.5z. This is three and a half ounces away from doubling her birth weight. Belle weighed 8lbs, 14.5oz on April 17. This is a significant weight gain. I am delighted. I am also done with formula. Semi-solids and rice cereal with olive oil make excellent supplemental nutrition to exclusive breastfeeding at this stage.

Sunday, May 13, 2012


Belle has gained an entire pound in three weeks.  She weighed in at 9lbs, 13oz on Friday.  This is almost double her 5lbs, 2oz birth weight.  I wish exclusive breast feeding had gotten her there.  Maybe it would have under different circumstances.  In any event, I am continuing breast feeding on demand, plus five and a half ounces of higher calorie formula daily.  I am also pumping.

Belle ate her first banana last week.  I broke off tiny chunks and mashed them with my fingers to feed to her.  She seemed to enjoy that.  Now we share one banana daily.  Last night I oven roasted sweet potatoes and cooked green split peas.  I mashed a portion of each, added in olive oil and filled ice cube trays.  Each cube will make the perfect serving size once warmed.  I also bought two avocados, which is our next food.

I am very committed to Junior's care and feeding.  I am also very tense.  A nurse commented on my tension during a recent weight check.  It is harder to relax and enjoy this because I had a cryptic pregnancy.  Doctors, nurses, etc were borderline abusive in response.  I feel I must be on guard and selfless.  Meanwhile, I am not having any "me" time.  This became apparent very early Saturday morning when confronted with temptation.

A old flame dropped in for a late night/early morning visit.  We hadn't seen each other in four years and hadn't slept together in five.  Of course Belle needed to be changed and fed and present to chaperon.  We discussed the children we have both had since our last coupling and rose to say goodnight.  That turned into an awkward kiss and the sad truth I am too tightly wound even for a fling.  This is someone I am still quite fond of.  I would like my body to cooperate.  I am not feeling very sexual at the moment.  How do I get that back?

Friday, May 4, 2012


Belle weighed in at 9lbs, 10oz yesterday.  Those extra five and a half ounces a day are working.  She has nearly gained one pound in two weeks.  Belle will be on the charts soon, albeit in the lowest percentile for her age.  Her head size is already there, just not her body.

Wednesday, May 2, 2012

On the 6

I zipped myself into a size 6 skirt yesterday.  One of the vendors at our Tuesday farmer's market asked me what my secret is.  I have no secrets.  I have a baby.  I eat plenty of whole grain cereal (Cheerios, Life, oats sometimes), rice (primarily white), vegetables, fruits, protein (eggs, canned fish, cheese, split peas), dairy and oils.  I drink caffeinated tea and eat chocolate when I can get it.  I allow myself chocolate dipped ice cream cones at Foster's Freeze.  I also drink water and walk for long periods of time.

Yesterday I bought beets with greens still attached for one dollar.  The beets were the equivalent of three servings.  I tossed them in olive oil, balsalmic vinegar and course sea salt and roasted them in the oven.  I pan fried a New York steak in butter, sea salt, black pepper and Cajun spice blend, removed the steak from the pan and then sauteed the beet greens in the fat from the meat.  I made a pot of white rice, poured purple grape juice into a stemless wine glass and had an excellent dinner.

Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Belle surprised me on Saturday morning when she instinctively backed herself into my arms so we could spoon.  I thought I would die from cute.  We had a brief moment of closeness before she awoke to feed again.  That started a very nice weekend. 

I try to make our farmer's market on Saturdays, even if I only spend five dollars.  This time I spent six dollars on three bunches of kale and a bunch of radishes and was directed to bags of food being handed out by the food bank set up behind the mosque.  Now I am enjoying a marionberry pie!

I found a very lovely cut of salmon at Lucky yesterday.  I love oven roasted salmon with lemon, sea salt and pepper.  I could practically taste that when the lovely Belle lulled me into a late evening nap.  Dinner became a bowl of Life cereal with a few Cheerios added for shiggles.

Life cereal left soaking in milk for several minutes until completely soggy is one of my few vices now that I am knee deep in baby care.  I also love my daily tea.  I brought home a pack of loose leaf yerba mate on Friday that I am keen to tear into soon.  Belle and I will drink tea together someday.