Wednesday, April 22, 2015

Belly,bladder, bowel

I am building a business around Belle's belly, bladder and bowels.  I am working around her potty breaks.  I dressed up to take a business call earlier.  I wanted to feel more successful by chatting in better clothes.  We walked to Safeway so I could buy a cup of coffee, retrieve a gift card owed me by the store and take the call.  Belle saw an empty plastic container that reminded her of the pinto beans and cheese she loves at Taco Bell and demanded beans right away.  I had a fidgeting, screaming child just minutes before my call.  I had to quickly choose lunch from the deli counter (No beans because Safeway doesn't sell refried beans at their deli.) even if that meant missing my call.  We ate a good lunch:  wild Alaskan salmon, kale salad, slaw, a corn dog, mini Oreos and Goldfish.  I missed my call, of course.  That just fell into a void...BUT!  I found someone else to connect with, and everyone had a full stomach and properly regulated bladder and bowel functions.  There is that.

Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Different expectations

Last night our neighbours invited us to their daughter's birthday dinner.  We were last minute invites, arriving just in time for cake.  I guess we all had different expectations for our evening.  The organizer said "dinner," which I enjoyed well after everyone else had eaten.  Belle, having just eaten from two cups of pinto beans and cheese at Taco Bell, ignored dinner.  The adults in attendance all but ignored me.  They didn't seem to hear me whenever I spoke.  I had to ask for alcohol when they had plenty beers on hand.  I ate my dinner and drank my beer in silence.  On my second beer, and with Belle finally sitting down for cake, we were all shown the door.  The lady of the house slipped Belle's cake into a doggy bag and slipped it onto her wrist.  I struggled a disoriented child, a cup of water and an open bottle of beer on our short walk home.  What was that?

Monday, April 20, 2015

Sundays at McDonald's

I like to take Belle to McDonald's on Sunday afternoons so I can connect with a girlfriend who lives nearby while Belle plays.  I usually buy myself a large coffee and smuggle in snacks from home for Belle.  Last Sunday, with snacks hidden on my person, I treated Belle to a McDonald's ice cream cone.  I bought myself a [tasty, peppery] McChicken sandwich.  Belle ate a tiny bite of sandwich and appeared to enjoy it, which prompted me to buy another sandwich.  Belle threw that second sandwich to the ground, of course.  I quickly snatched it up and ate it (It was still wrapped.).  My friend arrived soon after and treated Belle to apple juice, chocolate chip cookies and a yogurt tube.  These were all healthy choices overall.  I liked the modest size of the McChicken sandwich too.  It hit the spot.

My friend made an observation about the luxury cars she says she has noticed recently.  I guess I have been too busy chasing after a child to notice.  I said, "Who cares?  Let's change too.  I love you.  You're my friend.  We've got to do better than this though."  I like meeting at McDonald's for these casual days.  I am suddenly enamored by all the women in sheath dresses traipsing through Starbucks.  I proposed that we join them, or some such.  We can start a movement of our own.


McDonald's and Starbucks gift cards, please.  Also, Safeway and Target.

Monday, March 2, 2015

The Fourth Year

Belle turned three last December.  We are knee deep in learning how to communicate, count, play, etc.  No preschool yet.  Meanwhile, I am keen to get my practice going.  Business cards have been designed and are on their way.

Friday, November 28, 2014


I didn't make a big deal out of Thanksgiving.  Belle still felt out of sorts enough to unravel almost completely.  We ended up having yellow cupcakes wih chocolate frosting, banana Johnny cake, zuchini with corn in tomato sauce, turkey dressing and lentil stew, in that order.  I roasted the turkey the next morning, which we ate promptly.  Belle seems to like the meat.

Tuesday, November 25, 2014

Send art supplies

Belle is rapidly approaching three (on December seventh!!!) and is a busy, busy bee.  I have given her all of my art supplies, and have added in the best we could find at the discount stores.  Belle loves modeling dough the most.  She often eschews dinner for yet another hour of sculpting.  I am, therefore, asking for the most modeling compound and the most paints for Belle's upcoming birthday and Christmas.  I will need an endowment for the arts at this point.  We need more clay, paints, paper, and ZOMG! glitter glue.