Tuesday, April 30, 2013

Learning how to play

I now understand what the psychic meant when she reminded me to play.  I am an extremely disciplined, focused and responsible person.  I was orphaned at five, a property owner and manager at twenty-one and completely on my own by twenty-two.  I was also a highly athletic, creative and energetic child.  All of this fell by the wayside as more and more was expected of me.  I set aside all of my dreams to take care of everyone and everything else.  I reacted to this stress in inappropriate ways by drinking, overeating fatty foods, shopping, etc.  I never once relaxed enough to reconnect with that lost child inside myself.

I brewed a mug of tea and pushed Belle to the park in the bobby car this morning.  We spent at least an hour in the park.  Belle sorted wood chips and sand while I sat in the sunshine.  We met a rather mod grandmother and her talkative toddler granddaughter.  We also met our friends from church.  I would never have made these acquaintances without Belle and our need to play.  Play is messy and time consuming for my delicate Virgo Mars, but necessary.  I am suddenly vulnerable and present.  I am reconnecting with the five year old me and learning how to be a child again.

Beach

Belle and I walked down to the beach yesterday.  We parked the bobby car in the sand and waded in the water.  Belle handed me five rocks of assorted colors and sizes, which I stored under the hood of the bobby car.  I wanted to bring home a sizable branch I found in the water, but why?

Monday, April 29, 2013

Satiety

I limited bread to homemade pizza last week.  We ate plenty of fruit, vegetables and protein instead.  Breakfast for days included hard boiled egg, baked sweet potato, green beans (boiled with the egg) and an orange.  Weekend brunch included fried or scrambled eggs, baked potato and pork sausage.  This morning I added a jar of chunky toddler vegetable blend with couscous.  The protein really makes a difference.

Work ideas

Hypnotherapy for overcoming grief?

Saturday, April 27, 2013

Taurus-Scorpio

I must master South Node in Taurus, fourth house and activate North Node in Scorpio, tenth house to fully enjoy the good life as promised by Jupiter in Taurus, fifth house.

Friday, April 26, 2013

Determination

I spent most of yesterday working on Kea Hypnosis.  Belle didn't appreciate the time I spent not playing with her.  She pulled my mobile off the charger and dropped it into the [dry] sink.  Then she pried off one of the computer's keys.  I worked through it.  When she handed me her pretend phone, I read whatever I was typing to our imaginary friend.  I paused whenever she wanted milk or handed me an orange to peel.  I paused whenever I smelled poop.  I am determined.


Thursday, April 25, 2013

Kea Hypnosis...

...has its own blog, FB fan page and Gmail!  I have also pitched someone about sales.  Google+?

Notes/Self

I dreamed I created an oracle deck using index cards, stick figures and scribble.  I would do this.  I loved to collage once upon a time.  I may try this.

Feelings

I am Reverend Camille Kea, CHT (Certified Hypnotherapist).  I am legally ordained to officiate weddings and baptisms, conduct spiritual counseling and spiritual healing sessions and other ceremonies, in addition to being fully certified to perform hypnosis for change.  I earned these titles several years ago, before I hit thirty.  I fully intended to use these skills until I suffered the loss of a loved one, sold a home and moved hundreds of miles away.  Without anyone actively supporting my vision or cheering me on, it was easy for me to make new friends who didn't support, trust or understand me either.  I became a very unhappy drinking woman.  I failed at everything else I tried to do.  All of those toxic relationships eventually dissolved, especially after I had Belle. Now it's come back full circle.  I am being authentic and venturing out on my own.  I must do this, regardless of everything.

Oracle

Lucy Cavendish's Oracle Tarot:

8 of Coins, Justice, Bondage, Ace of Cups

If using a Past/Present, Present/Future loop, action steps I take today will liberate me.  I have the resources to do this.

8 of Swords, 10 of Wands, 7 of Coins, Magician

Exactly!

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

Hypnosis for...

  • Athletic Performance
  • Birthing
  • Past Life Regression and Spirit Attachments
  • Smoking Cessation
  • Weight Loss

Destiny

I resonate with these descriptive buzzwords from The Secret Language of Destiny:

  • materialistic
  • workaholic
  • stubborn
  • enterprising
  • obsessive [about work and professional issues] 
  • controlling

I must learn how to:

  • nourish my social and creative side
  • build a lively and meaningful social life
  • broaden my horizons
  • learn when to take a vacation
  • realise the intensity, success and celebratory aspects of life

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Mom

I am releasing toxic people from my life and sealing myself into a vacuum.

Is walking away the best for my future happiness?


  • Wealth
  • Breakthrough
  • Family
Mom.  I am Mom.  Create and deepen that!

Networks

I am updating various social networking sites (LinkedIn, SkillPages) with my skills:  hypnotherapy, life coaching, writing, ministering and public speaking.  I am training my subconscious mind to look forward and look up at present and future success, rather than backwards at past falters, including all those who damned or doubted me.  May God bless them.  I must get to the work I feel I have been called here to do.

Productivity

Belle and I enjoyed a productive work day.  She sorted cereal and crackers in the pantry while I conducted a reading with a client in the living room.  The oracles I used instead of tarot proved challenging in their simplicity, especially for the client.  The Ego wants things more complicated than what they really are.  Personally, I liked delivering more empowering messages with these oracles without being predictive.  It is up to the client to make good use of it.

I pulled Belle out of the pantry and dressed her for the warm weather.  We deposited our earnings and immediately paid them out for gas and electric.  Then we went to the park.  Belle played with a blonde Mexican child with a mouth full of metal teeth.  She rejected his offer of potato chip.  The children played together with a small dog belonging to the boy's family.  Belle smiled and laughed and tried to hug the dog.  Belle later turned her affections to another toddler girl, trying in vain to hug her.  Apparently, the child has a history of hitting huggers, just not Belle.  When the girl wouldn't hug back, Belle ate sand.

I carried a filthy Belle, kicking and squealing, away from her sand heap.  I managed to tuck her back into her carrier but not without effort.  We checked out TMix, a new tea house in Neptune Plaza, on our walk home.  We shared an ice cold mango milk tea without boba bubbles.  I thought of the child with the metal teeth, an obvious result of tooth decay (Cereal in a bottle, perhaps?) and resolved to make teeth brushing of top priority.  I felt much better when Belle turned away from the sugary drink and started hugging trees.  Of course that meant we had to pause at every trunk, feel every leaf and smell every rose.  That's life with a toddler, I guess.

Sunday, April 21, 2013

The Good Life

The good life, according to sports radio, in no order:

  • marriage and family life
  • sexual reproductive health
  • bone health
  • pride of home ownership, home improvement, solar panels, backyard spa, etc.
  • Mercedes Benz
  • investments, including the engagement ring
  • spectator sports, particularly little league and other games supporting children
  • Hawai'i

Saturday, April 20, 2013

FAIL

Belle and I were disappointed today when poor communication ruined plans to attend a child's birthday party.  I should have known something was awry when the party disappeared from Facebook Events.  I'd seen the mother of the child in person earlier in the week and didn't anticipate a problem.  Unfortunately, the mother had given me the wrong address and was still in transit to the party when I called.  I killed some time by joining a big Earth Day party in the park before attempting to find the party one last time.  I eventually gave up and went home, shocked that I had lingered in the park for three hours with a toddler in a stroller.  The mother texted me an apology, saying they had plenty of food and were seated up high in the one part of the park where I hadn't looked.  I had already deleted and blocked her from Facebook by then because she'd been such a time suck.  We weren't really friends anyway.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Happiness

I found nine glasses under a stained glass window when I tithed to our church.  The Nine of Cups is a beautiful and welcome sign of abundance bestowed by expansive Jupiter.  Belle and I love and deserve blessings and fortune.  We are grateful and humble.

I am slowly moving away from the tarot on the insistence of a spiritual mentor.  When recently asked to conduct a tarot reading, I deliberated until Belle unearthed a deck of a higher vibration than usual.  I am now using Motherpeace, Tarot of the Ages, Voyager and World Spirit because these decks, and a few others, are more in alignment with where I am at present.  Mentor said drop it completely and use other tools.  What to do?

Tarot often attracts drifters and other needy types who jump from reader to reader, rarely taking necessary steps toward change.  It doesn't help that this service is often under priced, if priced at all, to better serve the under served.  I see now why lower vibrations hang on and stagnate.  I hear this on psychic shows on internet radio.  The same people call with the same issues, seeking free advice from various show hosts and guests.  Some of it is fake.  My mentor gave me some tips and a price point.  Things are looking up.

Take Care

The Greek lawyer has sent this text, "Looks like I'm going to be busy for a while, work, etc.  But look forward to seeing you around, maybe...OK, take care..."

He doesn't want any attachments or responsibility.  He already said that during our beach date.  I never expected or demanded anything.  We weren't compatible.

Sunday, April 14, 2013

More dreams and signs

I felt compelled to walk on the other side of the street earlier.  I am glad I did because I found two plastic grocery bags full of canned and dry food and ten pounds of potatoes under a tree.  I carted the canned and dry goods home and left the potatoes for someone else.  I added to our pantry:  oats, pinto beans, peaches, jellied cranberry sauce, spinach and green beans.  Yum!

I spied a tiny dead shark someone had fished out of our waters and a battered baseball as we walked along the beach with the Greek lawyer yesterday.  I believe in dreams and signs.  I am taking the canned food, the dead shark, the baseball, the baseball cards, the handful of pennies and the beggar I gave the pennies to and the joyous dream I had as a major guide post. 

Dud

The Greek lawyer turned out to be a dud.  He would rather bum along the beach and flirt with homelessness than commit to a home, a stable job or a woman.  We share common ground, including a Creative Writing major.  He is kid friendly and has good manners.  He is still a drifter with no plans to redirect his energy.  We are on two different pages. 

Friday, April 12, 2013

Dreams and signs

I dreamed one of my cousins moved nearby.  She moved here in mourning.  This mourning period brought our family together.  We made a united front for Belle.  We all felt such joy celebrating Belle.  Strange dream, especially the mourning aspect, but I took this joy with me into my waking life.

I used the eye shadow and lipstick (a mauve with 'Hope' in the title) Belle handed me and ventured out to a cafĂ© in another neighbourhood.  Belle spied a pastry on a bachelor's table and ate the entire thing.  The bachelor turned out to be kid friendly, Greek and very familiar with Candomble, having spent much time in Brazil.  While I do not practice Candomble, I still revere The Orishas.  This is significant.

Aphrodite (Belle's middle name), the Greek bachelor and I had a wonderful afternoon.  He'd shared with me a stock he'd made from bone broth, black beans, spices and a hint of dark chocolate.  We drank this dark and savory liquid like espresso.  It tasted delicious and soul satisfying, a perfect accompaniment to a highly spiritual conversation. 

We all went for a walk around the island later.  I found at least twenty pennies in one spot during our walk, all of which I scooped up and kept in my right palm.  When a needy man asked me for spare change, I handed him every penny without hesitation.  On the way home, I found a cluster of sun-bleached baseball cards.  The bachelor asked, "I wonder what you'll find next?"  I wonder that too.

Wednesday, April 10, 2013

Success

Successful people have people in their corner.  Who is in my corner?

Tuesday, April 9, 2013

Baseball/Jazz

Belle navigated away from my favorite radio station, KCSM 91.1, a listener supported jazz station, and onto 95.7, the flagship station for Oakland A's.  She switched the station on April first, baseball's opening day and never touched the radio again until I switched it to the San Francisco Giants station two days later.  A battle of wills ensued.  Thus began a week long love affair with sports radio.  I tried to sleep without it and I couldn't.  It was the best soap opera...and I cringe at soaps.  I didn't turn it off until I realized I wanted to help athletes improve their focus and concentration through hypnosis.  I am back to jazz now until someone in baseball does something interesting.

Next Friday


I dreamed I was helping coordinate a wedding reception scheduled for next Friday.  The prospective caterer also designed cloth diapers in whimsical prints.  I pasted an unused cloth diaper in a fun print and a different, more traditional fabric swatch (for table linens?) onto a board for my client, along with recipes (poached egg, bacon wrapped asparagus, etc.).  The caterer got wind of it and started selling her services to me.  Alright.  Some of my dreams are pre-cognitive.  What's happening next Friday?

Niche

My ideal hypnosis and coaching clients include, but are certainly not limited to, athletes, men seeking confidence in dating and women in transition.  I can always add in health coaching later.

Monday, April 8, 2013

The Toy

I had to feed Belle on the go on Saturday.  We didn't have time to sign and play.  We had ten minutes.  I tucked her into a side hip carry in the Moby, handed her an unopened fruit and vegetable pouch and left.  Unsurprisingly, Belle was too stimulated by our mile and a half walk to even think about her morning milk or her pumpkin banana blend.  She waited an hour or so, when I was deep in conversation with a friend, to shamelessly grab my breast and help herself.

"That's not a toy," the old woman said.  "You need to put her on a schedule so you can do other things."  Then she started telling stories about her two boys who are now in their forties. 

I explained how our early morning had thrown Belle's feeding off.  I probably shouldn't have said that.  This woman clearly had a problem with breastfeeding in public.  She didn't see where I was already getting things done, feeding Belle while getting groceries.  She wanted to exert her own authority by giving me some rules for her own comfort.  Then she told a story of how a man had gone off on her after she butted in where she didn't belong. 

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Rescue

Belle provides such comic relief.  I left her alone, playing on my very high bed, while I disappeared into the bathroom down the hall.  I heard a cry halfway through my business.  Certain she wasn't in distress, I took my time and finished.  Belle was still crying when I reached the door.  I soon knew why.  Belle had gotten stuck on the ledge of the bed in her attempt to back off the bed and onto the floor.  I couldn't stop laughing.  Belle is the short stick.  I "rescued" her and put her back at the breast, where she is now.

Snails

I donned my kimono, tucked Belle under my arm and walked out into the cool darkness to take the garbage out.  I noticed a few snails crawling near the door on our way back inside.  I took this as an opportunity to introduce Belle to nature.  I counted three snails and one mammoth spider housed in the potted banana leaf near the door.  I also noticed one empty snail shell.  Belle handed me the empty shell and gave me a long explanation.  Then she crushed and scattered the shell amongst the dirt and trinkets she'd dug out of the plants.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Hypnosis

I learned of Garrett's death on the morning before the marketing class in my hypnotherapy program.  I missed the class and never made it up.  I completed the program, earned the certifications and quickly enrolled in a distance learning course for holistic health.  I wanted more cache with my clients if ever anyone needed hypnosis for weight control.  I liked my studies.  I had a vision for myself

My great-aunt Clara phoned that Winter, certain the end was near.  I had sold my property in L.A. and moved to Alameda before I knew it.  Nothing made sense once I located my books again.  I silently dropped out of the program (The school has since folded.), lost interest in hypnosis completely and wondered what next. 

I threw myself into nightlife and attempted a career in event planning and public relations.  I successfully managed a women's group, published a column and even attracted a major media opportunity.  When the community manager position for Yelp East Bay became available, I seriously considered applying.  I spent the three weeks before Belle was born feverishly polishing writing samples, hoping I would win a freelance writing contract.

I am returning to hypnosis and life coaching, another vocation I trained for the Winter before Garrett died.  I have done intuitive life coaching and spiritual mentoring all along, mostly using tarot and other tools, not in fortune telling, but to help clients identify blockages to transformation.  The challenge involves attracting clients ready to change and willing to do the work.  I have a dream hypnosis client in mind. 

 

Poop

Belle disappeared upstairs for some  toddler alone time.  She got very quiet, which inspired me to check up on her.  I found Belle smiling brightly and waving around a forgotten pack of breast milk storage containers.  When I approached to scoop her off the floor and carry her back downstairs, I noticed an ill fitting diaper.  Worse yet, the diaper was brown on one side, indicating leakage.  One scan of the carpet revealed the horror:  Belle had pooped on the sundress I'd worn on Easter but never walked downstairs to the laundry.  Luckily, the stain rinsed out during a pre-wash rinse.  Belle still needed to be picked up and put into the bath, which stained my kimono.  The poop eventually washed off the toddler, the dress and the kimono, although I am not sure which I really wanted to save.

Tuesday, April 2, 2013

Professional Services/Communications

  1. Coach, hypnotherapist and teacher
  2. Columnist, commentator, freelance writer, radio announcer
Now that I am clear...

Monday, April 1, 2013

Development

I scored highest on "Service, Professional," "Education and Social Service" and "Social Artistic Enterprising" on a trio of career assessment tests I took at home over the weekend. 

Ideal careers include:

  1. Minister
  2. Teacher
  3. Counselor
  4. Career or Guidance counselor
  5. Marriage and Family Therapist
  6. Case or Social Worker
  7. Child/Day Care
  8. Principal/Dean of Students
  9. Coach in any specialty (Art, athletic, drama, health, life, etc.)
  10. Rehabilitation or Substance Abuse counselor
I would imagine that hypnotherapy, which I am already trained in, files under these categories, as does life coaching and spiritual mentoring.  Interestingly enough, I am Reverend Kea, even if through an online program.  I am very interested in marriage, partnerships and other relationships and have moved those books downstairs where I can see them.  I am on the right track, and I have always been on the right track, only surrounded by the wrong people.

When the student is ready...

...some mysterious packet appears on the floor of a cluttered garage.