A "musician" in his fifties asked if he could call me sometime. He must live in my neighbourhood. We are always passing each other in the street these days. He called after me from the window of a car being driven by a much younger man with longish hair and a dog. I quickly sized up the driver of the car while declining the musician's offer. I must be careful with men now that I am a mother of an infant daughter.
I auditioned men in my own unique and careful way before I had Belle. At worst, I dated men who couldn't be vulnerable. Many suffered with emotional and mental health issues, including Belle's father. I am sure some were similar to my own father, a man so troubled at the end of his life that he decided to take my mother's life before his own. I am lucky I never became a victim.
I am open to romantic love and all the biological changes that come with it now more than ever. I can realistically birth another child or two. I met someone with Belle in utero who helped me get clear on exactly the sort of man I am interested in. This man is a healthier construct than anyone I have attracted over the years. I am looking forward to his arrival, whomever he is.