Tuesday, June 4, 2013

Belonging

Somewhere in Alameda I accepted I didn't really belong here.  I accepted I didn't fit in because my "story" was too different to be taken seriously.  I accepted I wasn't deserving of anything I had, not even my education, because I hadn't "worked" for it.  I accepted I couldn't, or wouldn't, earn a "real" living because my education, passions and talents weren't "real."  I eventually stopped trying.  I became a miserable drunk without an outlet or peer support.  In sharp contrast, I felt myself fit in today, with Belle crawling over a table to reach the toddler seated in his mother's arms across from us at a cafe.  I felt connected all day long, from shopping the farmers market to playing with Belle at a public park.  I feel like I belong right here where I am.

1 comment:

  1. That is such an awesome feeling to have I'm sure! I'd like to feel that eventually. I think it might be San Diego. I felt so at home there. I hope it doesn't take too long before we're able to move there.

    ReplyDelete