I brewed a mug of tea and pushed Belle to the park in the bobby car this morning. We spent at least an hour in the park. Belle sorted wood chips and sand while I sat in the sunshine. We met a rather mod grandmother and her talkative toddler granddaughter. We also met our friends from church. I would never have made these acquaintances without Belle and our need to play. Play is messy and time consuming for my delicate Virgo Mars, but necessary. I am suddenly vulnerable and present. I am reconnecting with the five year old me and learning how to be a child again.
Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Learning how to play
I now understand what the psychic meant when she reminded me to play. I am an extremely disciplined, focused and responsible person. I was orphaned at five, a property owner and manager at twenty-one and completely on my own by twenty-two. I was also a highly athletic, creative and energetic child. All of this fell by the wayside as more and more was expected of me. I set aside all of my dreams to take care of everyone and everything else. I reacted to this stress in inappropriate ways by drinking, overeating fatty foods, shopping, etc. I never once relaxed enough to reconnect with that lost child inside myself.